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Questions

… To Decide if Same-Sex Partnerships Do Good or Harm
A Summary

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The Bible’s ethical standards and purposes for sex and marriage which same-sex partnerships must meet​ to "qualify"

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  • Marriage should be a Christ-like, servant-hearted relationship where each partner submits to the needs of the other

  • It should involve two equal, compatible soulmates

  • The marriage partners should help and support each other in doing life together

  • It involves a permanent, covenant-bonded union of closest kinship of two people

  • Sex should be kept for the marriage to help confirm and strengthen the “one flesh” union between the two partners

  • Sex should also be enjoyed within that relationship to help discipline and control sexual desires to comply with the two Thessalonian principles of sexual ethics

  • Those principles are to control your body sexually in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust, and to not take sexual advantage of another person.

  • Whilst God no longer expects or requires marriages to produce children, the marriage relationship should be a suitable place to bring up any children.

These are, if you like, the Bible’s qualifying standards for marriage. If the evidence shows that generally same-sex partnerships are incapable of meeting these scriptural standards we should reject them as harmful and clearly against God’s will. But if the evidence shows most same-sex partnerships do meet these standards then it’s a very strong indication they may well be for our good and acceptable to God. But it’s not conclusive. Remember doing good or harm is Jesus’s ultimate test of love for how we should interpret and apply Scripture. If overall committed same-sex partnerships do meet these scriptural standards we would reasonably expect that such relationships overall do good and prevent harm. But, it is still possible that, despite meeting these standards, overall such relationships cause harm rather than good either for the partners or others.

10 key questions to test if same-sex partnerships do good or harm
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The above points and my overall analysis of Scripture’s teaching led me to the following key questions. I believe the answers to them should determine whether same-sex partnerships overall do good harm or do harm and therefore do or do not meet Jesus’s ultimate test for correctly applying Scripture – Christ’s law of love.

  1. Do most gay people have similar sexual desires to straight people which can lead to sexual immorality or other sin?

  2. Do most gay people share the same general need to do life with a marriage partner?

  3. Or do all gay Christians, at least potentially, have the gift of celibacy?

  4. Can and do committed same-sex partnerships fulfil Scripture’s essential purposes for marriage? Equal, compatible soulmates, helping and supporting each other, permanently covenant-bonded in a close kinship union, within which sex can be enjoyed to help cement the relationship and help discipline and control sexual desires and providing a suitable place to bring up any children?

  5. Or is there anything fundamental about sex and marriage that same-sex couples can’t fulfil without harming themselves or others, including any children? If so, what?

  6. If same-sex "marriage" is unacceptable to God, when gay Christians struggle with their sexual desires does God heal them “straight” so they can enjoy heterosexual marriage or gift them with celibacy?

  7. If not, how does that fit our picture of God in Jesus and his promises to his people?

  8. Can and do people in same-sex "marriages" become Christians and bare spiritual fruit?

  9. Can and do churches which oppose or promote same-sex "marriage" thrive and grow?

  10. Does opposing or supporting same-sex "marriage" have a positive or negative effect on the gospel’s reach?

If the answers to these questions lead to the conclusion that same-sex marriages overall do good and prevent harm then they meet the ultimate biblical test of Christ’s love. If so, despite what we’ve previously believed, we should fully embrace and actively support covenanted same-sex partnerships as marriages, aligning with God’s will.

 

Conversely, if the answers show such same-sex partnerships overall do harm rather than good then they fail the ultimate biblical test of Christ’s love. If so, despite what we’ve previously believed, we should reject and actively (but lovingly) oppose same-sex "marriages" as not really marriages at all.

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