An E-mail to a Cousin

Image by courtesy of Brachers LLP

This is the first of hopefully many blogs for my website, the Affirming Evangelical - the biblical case for same-sex marriage at: https://www.affirmingevangelical.uk

Background

I recently read some wise thoughts from a leading LGBTQ+ affirming theologian about how we often go the wrong way about trying to persuade undecided or traditionalist Christians to our cause. Well, this was my own recent attempt with a quite well-known evangelical who I much admire.

I recently discovered that they're related to me – well, sort of! They're my (second) cousin’s cousin. Publicly, they had generally maintained a deliberately neutral stand on the issue of same-sex relationships and marriage. So, I used the opportunity of our recently discovered family connection to share with them my new website, the Affirming Evangelical - the biblical case for same-sex marriage.

I sent them a, hopefully gracious but lengthy email, setting out why I thought that they, as a charismatic evangelical Christian, ought to support same-sex marriage.

To my surprise, they promptly emailed me back an equally gracious but much briefer reply!

For reasons of privacy, I have kept the identity of all individuals confidential and removed or changed their names

My email

" We haven't met but we share cousins ...

You might remember meeting my mum, at your cousin's birthday party last year....

You may not remember it now, but she tells me you were intrigued by my work website profile she shared with you. You'll have read there that I'm a litigation lawyer .... and read also of my church commitments and writing, included my part-written Christian fantasy saga (Magi-Legends of the Space Ark) which I'd put on hold to write a very different book, which instead has become a website - the Affirming Evangelical - the biblical case for same-sex marriage.

After nearly two years' work the website has finally been published:

https://ww.affirmingevangelical.uk

I wondered if you'd be interested in taking a look at it.

The site was born out of our Baptist church's difficult discussions about moving towards full LGBTQ+ inclusivity, which we ultimately did this year. Through this process, I felt called away from my novel-writing to create this site.

The site is kind of a travel journal of a 40-year journey from ultra-conservative evangelical to an enthusiastically affirming one.

One of the key revelations on that journey came to me through an Alpha course I helped lead 21 years ago.... Through that course, I helped bring to Jesus a gay man, Nigel, who was in a committed (and, I assumed, sexual) relationship with his partner, Adrian. Despite my traditionalist views, I couldn't deny what I saw and heard with my own eyes and ears: at his confirmation service, Nigel testified to the Bishop and the congregation

that through the course he'd accepted Jesus as his saviour and been healed of his alcohol dependency - after we'd prayed together at the Holy Spirit Away Day.

And yet Nigel remained just as "gay" and just as "wedded" to "his" Adrian (though legal same-sex marriage was still 10 years away).

I was overjoyed but also greatly puzzled. What was God up to here? When I'd asked Nigel if there was anything he needed prayer about, it was meant to be his "homosexual" relationship with Adrian; not his relationship with alcohol! How could the Holy Spirit be producing such fruit in the life of a man who, according to God’s word, was living a sexually sinful lifestyle?

So, I came to believe that it was possible to be a gay person in a committed same-sex relationship but you really shouldn’t be. To be honest, I was just pretty confused about the whole thing.

It was only 10 years later that my own teenage daughter, challenged me to look at what others had said on this issue, to re-read my Bible and talk to God about it: what did he really think about gay people and same-sex relationships? This led me to the affirming yet (I believe) thoroughly biblical view I have today.

And my deep dive into the biological and sociological evidence demonstrated to me beyond any reasonable doubt (in my own mind at least) that affirming faithful monogamous same-sex relationships as marriage does great good, and opposing them much harm.

And in accepting such relationships as marriage, we are not throwing out New Testament standards and principles for sex and marriage. Far from it. We are affirming and applying those same biblical standards and principles of sex and marriage for a people then hidden in plain sight: LGBTQ+ folk not gifted with celibacy and for whom only same-sex partnerships will work - so that they too may be blessed by the discipline and benefits of God's good gift of marriage.

And so, like many other evangelical Christians, I've come to see that fully accepting LGBTQ+ folk and their faithful relationships on the same terms as heterosexuals like me is a Micah 6:8 justice issue - to "act justly, love mercy and humbly walk with [our] God".

Like the late great US evangelical theologian, Richard B Hays, and his son Christopher, I've come to hear the Holy Spirit's voice calling on God's people to extend his mercy to a new group of people previously marginalised by them - just as the apostles did with uncircumcised Gentiles in Acts 10-15, and just as the church did centuries later with slaves and women.

We believe that then as now, the church must always keep its eyes and ears open for the new things the Holy Spirit wants to do, as he leads us into truth (John 16:13). We don't know what that new thing might be in centuries to come. But for us now, today, we believe the new “new thing” the Holy Spirit is asking us to do is fully embrace LGBTQ+ folk and accept their committed, monogamous same-sex partnerships as part of God’s good gift of marriage he’s given to us all – for everyone not content to be single and celibate, so that they might “have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

An increasing number of fellow charismatic evangelicals in this country across all denominations believe they have heard this same call and are leading their churches to full inclusivity through which God is blessing many.

And so many LGBTQ+ Christians tell me the same thing - that God loves and accepts them as they are along with their committed same-sex partnerships. Some of their stories appear on my website.

We accept that many other Christ-centred, spirit-filled evangelical Christians, like yourself, hear God say something rather different through his word. We can't both be right, of course, but this side of eternity neither of us can be absolutely certain which of us has misheard his voice!

However, I would hope we can see that what we believe on this issue should not be foundational to our faith, that we actually preach the same gospel: repent and accept Jesus died to save you from your sins and start living in and for him in the power of the Holy Spirit.

I believe we should be able to respect and tolerate our differences on this issue, important as it is, and unite behind Christ.

I would like to think that books and websites such as mine should assure traditionalist evangelicals that, even though they may remain convinced that we affirming evangelicals have got this all wrong, we have reached this position because, just like them, we sincerely and faithfully believe this is what God is telling us through his word.

And I would also hope both sides can recognise that God can and does work mightily through his people, even when they have got things wrong (including on this issue). If he didn't, the gospel would have died out days after Pentecost!

May God continue to bless you and others in your many great endeavours for him,

Jeremy Horton "

The response

In their reply to me, they shared some fond memories of our shared uncle, but on the issue of same-sex relationships they simply acknowledged there were many different views about this within the church, but they wouldn't be drawn on what their own view was!

So, my email certainly didn't trigger any Damascus road conversion to the inclusive cause, but neither had they pinned their colours to the traditionalist side. It seems, for now anyway, they are maintaining their favoured fence-sitting about same-sex partnerships. But I'll keep praying for their eyes to be opened! (Luke 18:1-8) And I guess persistence in praying for other people's minds to be changed on this issue is at least as important as what we say to them - that the Holy Spirit might somehow use our own clumsy, faltering words so that they might hear - not so much what we're saying on this issue - but what He's saying!

Next time: A Tale of Two Singers – Brandi and Vicky